The world is changing
When Auntie first started visiting the baths in the 1980s, there were certain body types that always got lots of attention and action: the gym bunny, the chicken (an almost-archaic term for those we might call “twinks” today), and those with a “swimmer’s build.” Body positivity was barely a concept for most people — especially among gay men.
Now in 2026, body positivity is increasing throughout American culture, and there are people of all body sizes and shapes showing up — and having lots of fun — at gay bathhouses. Auntie has been thinking recently about what has changed.
Body positivity
It has taken literal decades, but being comfortable in and even proud of our bodies — no matter how they are shaped or how big they may be — is far more typical than it was as little as 15-20 years ago. Gay culture both shapes and is influenced by the broader culture around it. I think some of the most visible champions of body positivity have been some of our divas.
- Queen Latifah showed up on the hip-hop scene as a big, bold, beautiful, Black woman with a lot of talent. When celebrating her 50th birthday in March 2020, Vogue noted that she “helped to open doors for women above sample size, setting a chic example that many have followed,” and that she was “body positive before the term even existed.”
- Those same words can be said of Lizzo, who has made it clear — in her songs, interviews, and how she carries herself — that she is a big woman who is quite comfortable in her skin.
Social media has also had an influence on body positivity. Some of that influence has undeniably been negative, but researchers also found that seeing social media posts extolling body positivity has a positive impact on one’s own body satisfaction. Auntie isn’t saying we all need to seek out more social media (probably the opposite for most of us, including me), but we should make sure that our social media fills us with more light, love, and self-affirmation.
Some bathhouse observations
Auntie was recently at Crew Club DC on a typically busy Tuesday evening, and some of the guys there were larger-than-average. They were definitely having fun. One of them became quite popular in the largest dark play space, drawing a crowd of appreciative observers (and several participants).
At my home club, Club Philly, I’ve been noticing more big guys, and they engage — and are chased — just about as much as anyone else in the club. While I’m not doing census-style research, my impression is that the number of bigger guys coming to the club has increased since Club Philly started hosting BearUnion on the first Friday night of every month.
The BearUnion effect?
Is BearUnion the major reason that big guys have started to come to — and be accepted at — their local bathhouse? I doubt that there’s a single reason, but I’m sure that it’s had an effect, especially at Club Philly.
Friday nights at Club Philly (like most gay bathhouses) are usually fairly busy. People seem to like celebrating the start of the weekend in the company of — and having fun with — like-minded people. I think it was very wise for Club Philly to schedule their BearUnion party on a Friday night. Making it a monthly event means that it has built a crowd of its own.
Another effect seems to be that people with bigger bodies feel more welcome and accepted any day of the week they visit the baths. BearUnion promotes body-positivity and a welcoming, open atmosphere at their events, but it doesn’t stop there: Those of us who are regulars at the baths are increasingly finding ourselves cruising with (and often having fun with) those with bigger bodies.
Go to Club Philly and many other gay bathhouses any night of the week — and especially weekend nights and even on CumUnion nights — and you’ll find that all body sizes, types, and shapes show up and have fun. One of the things Auntie has always appreciated about bathhouses is that they remind us there is no such thing as a universal “type.” Spend enough time at any busy club and you’ll see someone enthusiastically pursuing nearly every body type imaginable. Someone else’s idea of perfection may not look anything like yours — and that’s one of the healthiest lessons the baths can teach us.
Auntie says…
I’m super-glad that bathhouses are becoming more welcoming, inclusive, and affirming spaces for those of us with bigger bodies. To quote Lizzo, it’s “About Damn Time.”